More than just memories

There's a big difference between remembering something that happened years ago and sitting down to write about it. When you're writing, you don't just recall the events. You find yourself going back into those moments, thinking about the people involved, the things that were said and, perhaps more importantly, the things that weren't. You remember how you felt. The hurt, the confusion, the anger. But also the happiness, the laughter and those wonderful little moments that might otherwise have been forgotten.

Sometimes it's the smallest details that catch me by surprise. A particular smell, a familiar place or something a character says can bring back a memory I haven't thought about in years. And suddenly, I'm not just sitting at my desk writing a scene. I'm remembering what it felt like to be there. Some days that's a beautiful experience. Other days, not so much.



Writing through the difficult bits

I've found that some of the hardest scenes to write aren't necessarily the most dramatic ones. Sometimes it's the quieter moments that affect me the most. A conversation. A goodbye. A moment of happiness that you only realise the significance of much later. There have been times when I've needed to walk away from my manuscript, make myself a cup of tea or find something else to do for a while. Not because I don't know what to write, but because I know exactly what I want to capture, and getting those emotions onto the page can be exhausting.

It's a strange experience, willingly putting yourself back into moments that weren't always easy to live through the first time. But it's also been surprisingly cathartic. Writing has given me the opportunity to revisit those experiences with a different perspective. To think about them, explore them and sometimes understand them in ways I couldn't at the time. And while I can't say it's always been enjoyable, it has been incredibly rewarding.

Finding the truth in fiction

I'm Sorry, I Love You is a novel, but the story is largely drawn from my own life. The experiences that inspired it are real, although I've taken the freedom to fictionalise and reimagine parts of the story, blending memories with imagination to create something that stands on its own. It's been an interesting balance, knowing when to stay true to what happened and when to let the story take me somewhere different.

Because for me, it's never been just about what happened. It's about how it felt. The complicated emotions, the impossible choices and the things we carry with us long after a moment has passed. Life is rarely as simple as we'd like it to be. People make mistakes, relationships are complicated and sometimes we hurt the people we love without ever meaning to. And we don't always get the opportunity to put things right.

Those are the parts of human nature that fascinate me, both as a person and as a writer. And they're the type of stories I love to tell.